


Loss (The Better Reflections Remix)

by laireshi



Category: Iron Man (Comic), Marvel 3490, Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Multiverse, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Remix, marvel crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-10 17:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10442985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: Director Stark finds himself in another universe with a Steve who is not only very much alive, but also getting married.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Tempered Steel (The Only One Bar in this Town Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10173716) by [navaan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan). 



> Thanks to [runningondreams](http://archiveofourown.org/users/runningondreams) for beta! The headcanon that Natasha is Tony's height is also her idea^^
> 
> Written for cap-ironman relay remix.
> 
> Director of SHIELD era: 616 Steve is canonically dead.

The Avengers Mansion burnt to the ground.

Tony flew in as fast as he could, but it wasn’t as if the Iron Man suit could really help putting out the fire, and it was too late to help anything when he’d arrived, anyway. The fire brigades pulled up, and Tony just looked on at the smoke blocking the sunlight. Extremis was blinking a warning at him, _dangerous outside conditions, do not remove the helmet_. 

It wasn’t as if anything was truly lost. The Mansion had been a ruin ever since Wanda . . . But there had been _something_. Abandoned rooms, still full of memories. The room where he and Steve had tried and failed to talk.

If only Tony had tried harder. If only Tony had been better. Maybe all of this wouldn’t be happening now. Maybe Steve would still be here. 

Tony closed his eyes tight. _Get yourself together, Stark_.

He turned back from the Mansion, and almost bumped into something.

Something metal and red and gold and—

“What the hell,” he said.

The other Iron Man didn’t answer. He seemed frozen in place, and he had the faceplate on, but Tony could tell he was looking behind him, at the ruins of Mansion. 

Tony alerted SHIELD via Extremis, then took a second to watch the other armour. It wasn’t a model he’d ever used. The lines of it were different, smoother somehow, although the armour was slightly bigger than Tony’s, closer to War Machine in shape. 

Tony knew somehow that it wasn’t a case of stolen tech.

 _Extremis: error 4502ff. No connection available_.

What? That was impossible. 

A shiver went through the other Iron Man, and then his posture changed. He aimed his repulsors at Tony.

“Who are you,” he said. 

Tony noticed belatedly that the environmental warning had disappeared. Everything was lighter around them. 

He made sure his shields were on full power, but didn’t raise his own repulsors. “Tony Stark,” he said. “I’m not evil.”

Not that many people would agree with him, there.

Something was still wrong, and it wasn’t just the fact that he was pretty sure this was an alternate universe Iron Man standing in front of him. _Shouldn’t that happen to Reed?_ , Tony mused. 

“That’s exactly what a villain would say,” the other Iron Man answered.

“Precisely,” Tony agreed. Extremis kept insisting none of his satellites were online. “I’d be smarter than that, if I were a villain.”

“Okay.” The other Iron Man lowered his gauntlets. “Fair enough.”

That was more trusting than Tony himself would be. 

There was an easy enough explanation for that—the other Iron Man _felt_ safe, which meant his team was nearby. Which, coupled with how there was sunlight around them, not a trace of smoke in his armour filters, and how Extremis kept not connecting . . . 

It wasn’t that he’d got an interdimensional visitor. It was that Tony was in another universe.

Figures.

That also meant . . . Tony took a deep breath and turned around.

The Mansion stood there, high and beautiful, not a single crack on it’s façade. Some of the windows were open. There was a garland of white flowers over the entrance. Tony wasn’t sure he wanted to know why.

He was tired. He had a headache. It was a constant thing these days, always there, just behind his eyes, but it became more pronounced now. Visiting other universes wasn’t high on his _to do_ list. He couldn’t allow himself a break from SHIELD business. There was too much to take care of. He needed to go back, now. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Iron Man said, “but I’m relieved _my_ Mansion seems to be alright.” 

Tony just nodded.

“Wouldn’t want it to get damaged before the wedding.”

Ah. So that was what the garland was for. Tony didn’t ask about the happy couple. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy superheroes here seemed to have their shit sorted out, it was just . . . Yet another remember of how completely he’d managed to fuck everything up. Luke and Jessica were on a run from the law and it was his fault.

Steve was dead, and that was his fault, too. 

“Okay,” he said aloud. “Okay. Can you send me back? Do you have a Reed?”

Iron Man was silent for a while. “We should go to my lab,” he said. “That was weird. I saw part of your universe, too. It’s like the walls are getting thin.”

Tony swore. That wasn’t good. “Lead the way, then.”

The other Iron Man just nodded. He went to the Mansion. Extremis alerted Tony to wireless networks then, but they were all heavily encrypted. Tony pondered for a second, then decided to leave it. If his other self could send him back immediately, it wasn’t a problem; if Tony had to wait, then he’d get on the networks.

They were halfway to the Mansion’s front door when someone came out, and Tony froze mid-step.

 _Someone_.

Nonono. No. No.

He couldn’t deal with that—

Steve was coming closer to them, young, relaxed, _happy_. He was in his suit, but his cowl was pushed off, and he smiled fondly at the other Iron Man.

Tony couldn’t do this. Couldn’t. His Steve was dead. He couldn’t . . . 

“Shellhead says you shouldn’t be evil,” Steve said, because apparently he’d walked up to Tony while Tony _couldn’t move_. “But if you came here to ruin my wedding . . .”

Tony inhaled sharply. It was like a blow to the gut. This Steve was alive, and happy—and he was getting married.

It wasn’t as if—Tony knew his Steve wouldn’t ever end up with him. He deserved so much better. He deserved a person who wouldn’t betray him. But to see that it was true for any universe—even one that at first glance seemed so much better . . . 

Then again, Tony would do _anything_ to have his Steve back, even the Steve from the end, who hated Tony with all he had. It didn’t matter, as long as he was _alive_.

God, Tony missed him. 

“Are you okay?” there was concern in Steve’s voice. “Shellhead, he’s not moving?” he called.

No, no, Tony was okay, he was fine, he didn’t want people to _worry_ , or worse, _ask_. He shook his head. “I’m okay,” he lied. Breathing was difficult. He had to blink rapidly, to push the tears away. He was fine. He’d destroyed every chance at happiness he might’ve ever had— _he was fine_.

“I’m okay,” he repeated, taking a step forward. “Congratulations, Steve.”

He meant it. He was happy that Steve was happy, here.

He was also so damn jealous.

They were giving him weird looks now, but he didn’t care. “Iron Man? Your lab?”

Steve looked at him sharply at that, and the other Iron Man laughed, but didn’t say anything. 

A bit less sure if _they_ weren’t the villains now, Tony followed Iron Man as he started walking again. 

***

Iron Man’s lab was much like Tony’s own. There was tech strewn everywhere, at first glance without any logic behind it. A lot of computers, more than Tony had currently—Extremis really helped with that. Parts of the armour were lying around, and at the far wall stood a few assembled models—all of them bigger than Tony was used to.

“Okay, _Tony Stark_ ,” the other Iron Man said. “Get out of the armour.”

Tony hesitated.

“We need to scan you,” the other Iron Man said.

“Okay,” Tony said. “But you lose it, too.”

The other Iron Man laughed. “Sure, after you.”

Steve _was_ in the lab with them, standing at the door—Tony couldn’t help but be hyperaware of his presence. Getting out of the armour didn’t make the situation any less safe for the other Tony, but it would make Tony feel better.

He didn’t want to show off Extremis, but he didn’t want to spend an hour, getting out of the armour, either. He sent the armour the command to disassemble, and it fell to the ground around him. 

The other Iron Man was watching him. “Interesting,” he said. “Steve, what do you think?”

“ _Not_ how I’d guess it,” Steve said.

Then the other Iron Man pulled off his helmet.

Tony stared.

And stared.

“Natasha Stark,” she said. “Iron Woman.”

She had short dark hair, and eyes as blue as his. And he really didn’t want to imagine what becoming Iron M—Iron Woman must’ve been like for her, if their histories were any similar, but there was something soft in her face. Like she was content with where she was.

She quickly got out of the rest of the armour. She was Tony’s height, and wearing a full black underarmour. 

“Your underarmour is fantastic,” she said, “but you look like shit.”

“Ah, didn’t get we were complimenting each other now,” he said. “You are quite lovely, though.”

Steve coughed behind them. Tony make the mistake of looking at him, and his face fell. It was worse, without the helmet to filter what he was seeing, to look at Steve with his own eyes and see him _alive._ If Tony took just a few steps, he could _touch_ him. He could—

His Steve was dead.

“Steve, I think you should leave,” Natasha said suddenly, her eyes set on Tony’s face.

Tony expected an argument, but none came: Steve just nodded and left.

Tony wasn’t sure if it made things better or worse.

“Okay, boy-me, what’s your problem with Steve?” Natasha said. “Because that was _weird_.”

“Just send me back to my world,” Tony said. “Please.”

“I texted Reed already. So?”

Tony looked at a far wall and whispered, “In my world, Steve is dead.” He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to drink. He did nothing; just kept staring at the blank wall, and _not thinking not thinking not thinking_.

She hissed. “I—” She stopped herself.

So she also loved Steve? That must be torture, watching him get married, but Tony would take it all and more if it meant his Steve was alive.

Tony missed him so much. 

“Send me back,” he repeated.

“What—”

“Don’t,” Tony said.

“I need to know,” she said sharply. “What if something similar happens here?”

Tony closed his eyes tight. She was right. He knew she was. But . . . “Do the words Superhero Registration Act mean anything to you?”

She nodded grimly. “But it hasn’t passed,” she said. “We fought against it, and it hasn’t passed.”

“Well, in my world, it did. And I supported it, and Steve . . . Steve didn’t. We fought each other.” Tony was speaking very slowly. He should’ve tried talking to Steve again. Fuck, he should’ve just agreed with Steve, he should’ve done whatever it would’ve taken to be on one side with him. “At the end, he gave up. He was shot on the way to his trial.” His eyes burnt, but he wouldn’t cry in front of her. He wouldn’t.

“Fuck,” Natasha said. “That’s—I don’t think it’ll happen here, but, god—SHRA almost cost us everything as it was, and . . . I can’t imagine, if it was passed . . .”

“You don’t have to imagine, I lived through it,” Tony snapped. “And really, I’d appreciate being sent back now.”

She nodded, composing herself. “Come on, let’s scan you before Reed arrives,” she said, gesturing at another part of her lab.

***

After two hours of being prodded at by Reed and his very female self, Tony had had enough. 

Reed wasn’t any different to the one Tony knew: he was the same well-meaning, distracted scientist. Of course, he hadn’t almost divorced his wife because of SHRA. If he was even married to Sue here. Tony didn’t ask.

“Okay,” Reed said finally. “Earth-616, right?”

“I told you that,” Tony reminded him. 

“And Natasha saw it for a moment,” Reed said. “Opening a portal should be safe. Yes, it is worrying you just _fell_ into the wrong universe, but it’s not unheard of. Were there any magical battles there? Do you think residual energy might’ve done it?”

Tony nodded grimly. Sure, nothing happened there recently, but what Wanda had done with the Mansion . . . It was very probable that was the reason. God, they should have a sorcerer check it out. If only Strange didn’t hate him too, these days.

“There you are,” Reed said. “Obviously magic is not my field, but I don’t think the problem will repeat. The universe walls will fix themselves, not allowing any more random tears.” 

“Yeah, hope is not something I’d rely on in this line of work,” Tony said. “Thanks, Reed.”

“I’ll have Victor check it on our side,” Reed said. “Just to make sure.”

“Victor?” _As in Victor von Doom?_ Just how did this world work?

Reed looked at Tony, distracted. “My husband? You don’t know him? Oh, is 616 one of those worlds I’m with Susan?”

Tony just nodded, happy Reed answered his own question, because he wasn’t sure how to say _you hate your husband in my universe and also he’s a supervillain_.

And still, this weird world was the one where Steve was happy and alive. 

Reed brandished a device the size of a laptop that looked like . . . well, like a miniature portal, really. Tony did so like it when these things were on hand and he didn’t have to team up with Doom to build something from their armours. 

Except that apparently wouldn’t be such a problem here, either. 

Natasha looked at what Reed was holding. “You want to do it outside, where we came through,” she said.

“Will be easier,” Tony agreed.

“Okay,” she said. “Go on, I’ll catch up with you in a moment.”

She left the lab.

Tony shrugged. He put his armour back on, sans his helmet, then followed Reed outside. Natasha was waiting for them on the drive, next to Steve. 

Tony faltered mid-step, looked at her with accusation. 

“I’ll set up the portal with Reed,” she said. “And you two might want to talk.”

Tony definitely did not want to talk to another Steve.

“Tony,” Steve said. “Nat told me what happened in your world.”

Tony stubbornly stared behind him—but who was he kidding, he couldn’t do that for long. Not when Steve was right here in the flesh, and Tony could look at him once again, when he’d never be able to do it back in his own world. 

“Be careful here,” Tony said seriously. 

“I’m always careful,” Steve said. “Tony—if you’re anything like my Nat—I know you’re blaming yourself. She always finds a way to. And I don’t know the details, but this much I’m certain of: _it wasn’t your fault_.”

Tony looked down. It was his fault. All of it. But he wasn’t sure he had it in him to explain to another Steve Rogers why he should never, ever trust Tony Stark.

“If something happened to Nat . . . I’m not sure what I’d do,” Steve continued. “We’re getting married tomorrow, you know. I love her so much. And if your Steve was anything like me—she said he gave up. He probably couldn’t have dealt with fighting you, Tony. He’d never blame you either. Don’t blame yourself.”

Tony didn’t really hear any of his words after _I love her_. He was staring at Steve, wide-eyed, trembling. This wasn’t possible. How was this possible? There couldn’t be a world where . . . where . . . 

Why did she got everything right, and he—he got everything wrong?

Why?

“Shit,” Steve said. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to—” He reached for Tony, but Tony had enough of a presence of mind to sharply step back. He would completely break down if Steve touched him, he knew that.

 _Steve was getting married, and no wonder Natasha looked so happy, he was getting married to her_. 

Tony couldn’t deal with that. He couldn’t. 

He closed his eyes. “I really wish you all the best,” he let out, because it was important, and then he walked towards Reed and Natasha, and the portal between them.

“I won’t apologise,” Natasha said.

Tony shook his head. “I know.” He waited a beat. “I think you know how lucky you are. Just. Stay this way.”

She smiled. 

“Open the portal, Reed,” Tony said, and Reed pressed a few buttons on his console. 

Tony looked at the Mansion for the last time, bright, a home to people who were happy, and he stepped through the portal back into his world and the charred remains of his own Mansion. 

What a good metaphor for his life. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Not Your Reality (The Time-Out Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10409307) by [Veldeia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veldeia/pseuds/Veldeia)




End file.
